


COWARDS

by Atths2



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Episode: s06e03 Triangle, F/M, Love, Love Confessions, Post-Episode: s06e03 Triangle, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:46:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24810289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atths2/pseuds/Atths2
Summary: Aftermath of Mulder's love confession towards Scully in Triangle.
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 9
Kudos: 72





	COWARDS

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to Crystal aka ATTHS_TWICE for beta. If there was no her help, I doubt I'd be writing this much 💕

She picked him up from the hospital right after he received his discharge papers. Aside from the bruise under his eye, he looked good. Especially for a man who had been found nearly dead after hours spent in freezing water.

He was very quiet on their ride home, so the medication they gave him must have left his system, stopping him from speaking nonsense as he had the night before.

Though she was sure that all of his ramblings had been caused by the painkillers, one specific thought had not let her sleep the previous night. The "I love you" that had spilled from his mouth.

She did roll her eyes at him, but in the confines of her bed, she could not get it out of her head. She could not but wonder if there was any truth to it, or why would he even say it. Than and there. 

She knew he loved her as a friend and of course as a partner. They trusted each other, relied on each other. But the way he had said it, had nothing to do with friendship or partnership.

As they drove to his apartment, she assured herself it really was just the drugs he received at the hospital, as he didn't mention any of the things from last night. Not the Queen Anne, the Devil's Triangle, or his confession of love. Maybe he didn't even remember what he had said. Judging by the way he behaved, it seemed like he didn't even want to talk about it.

 _Odd for Mulder,_ she thought, _but not impossible_.

Still, she didn't want to let this one go. She wanted, _needed_ , to know what happened to him on that ship.

As they entered his apartment, she rushed to open the windows; letting some light and fresh air inside the dark and slightly musty rooms. He loved seeing her moving around his apartment as if in her own place. He spent countless nights imagining them actually living together, at his place or hers, or somewhere else entirely. While he may have thought about it, and despite his constant sexual innuendos, he was never really brave enough to actually act on it.

He took off his jacket and sighed, sprawling his body across the leather couch in his living room, facing the fish tank in the corner of the room. The bubbles in the water had an almost hypnotic effect.

"Coffee?" He heard her yelling from the kitchen, but he did not answer. "Guess the hospital one didn't do much." He was lost in his thoughts when she peeked through the door. "Mulder?"

"Hmm?" He looked at her above his head. "I asked if you'd like some coffee?"

  
"Yeah. Sure." He smiled. "Thanks."

She disappeared back in to the kitchen and he was left alone with his thoughts again.

He didn't talk about yesterday's events that morning. He was not really sure where to start. It seemed as if she did not believe his story, but it wouldn't be the first time, and that wasn’t really what was bothering him. Her reaction to his statement of love towards her was what distressed him.

At that given moment, he had felt like he should confess and even if it was not the best place or time, he did not care. Whatever anyone thought happened or did not happen on that ship, the fear of the possibility of not seeing her ever again was real for him. And so waking up to her face, knowing she was alive, _he_ was alive and that he would not have to live without her, made him spill his emotions out to her. He didn't really expect her to say anything. Hell, he didn't even think it through. He just didn't want to live without telling her what she truly meant to him. Where he got the guts to do it, he had no idea, but there he was, giving his heart away.

But she didn't take him seriously and aside from no expectations, it did hurt him a bit. He couldn't deny it.

"You're awfully quiet this morning, Mulder,” she stated as she entered the room carrying a tray and placing it on the coffee table in front of the couch. The smell of freshly made coffee filled the room and he inhaled deeply.

"You need some time alone? To take a rest and..."

"No,” he interrupted her quickly and too loudly, causing her to wince. He pushed himself up to a sitting position and cleared his throat. "Uhm..no. I... I just didn't sleep well, had some nightmares about drowning..."

"Oh. You wanna talk about it?" She sat next to him, worry showing on her face.

"No. No... I'll be fine." He gave her a tiny but reassuring smile. He reached for the silver coffee pot and poured coffee into both of their cups.

She picked up her cup and took a small sip of the hot, dark liquid. Tasting it on her tongue she closed her eyes and moaned. She had been in a rush that morning, so this was her first dose of caffeine today and finally tasting it, the sounds of relief floated out of her throat as she leaned back against the couch getting comfortable.

The little sounds she produced and her tongue licking away drops of coffee from her lips, made his pants somewhat tighter. He wondered if she had any idea what she was doing to him. He took a sip himself to calm his sudden fast breathing.

"So... what were you doing out there, Mulder?"

He looked at her, puzzled for a second, and than let out a chuckle. "I told you already.  
forgot?"

"No. I did not forgot what you said. I just thought you might have changed the story by now."

"Why would I change it?" His face became serious, his brows furrowed and he looked her straight in the eyes. He knew she was probably never going to believe his story, but he won't lie and change his story just to make her, or anyone else satisfied.

"Mulder, the things you said last night sound like pure science fiction." Her voice raised and she got flushed, as always, when she was trying to prove him wrong. "People, or things can't travel through time. No way you could have been in 1939. And that ship, Mulder. I saw it. As I said already, it was a ghost ship, abandoned. Everything inside was decrepit. There hadn’t been humans there for ages. Decades, Mulder."

He scoffed at her and lowered his gaze to his cup. Slowly, he stirred the spoon in his cup, making the liquid swirl around it.

"There were people. I saw them. I saw _you_." His voice was soft and low. His memories floated in and he could not help but think of the kiss they shared on that ship. Well, the kiss he _stole_ , but still...

"You said that, too. Another proof of nonsense, because I know where I was and I was _not_ on that ship. Not with you."

"No, not now. But back in '39. you were."

She rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Do you hear yourself? I thought the medication had worn off by now."

He chuckled as he looked back at her.

"Is that what you think it was? Drugs?" He suddenly realized that was the reason why she rolled her eyes at his declaration.

"Well, yeah. I have no other explanation. Not even for you. Why else would you say things like..." She paused, not wanting to say it out loud. She had no intention of bringing up his confession of love. Her mouth opened and closed, but no sound left it. She held her breath, wishing she could run away. She cursed herself for babbling before thinking.

"Things like... what?" he asked when she did not finish her question. He knew what she was referring to, but he wanted to hear her say it.

She kept silent, taking another sip of her coffee, hoping the moment would simply pass, but he did not back down.

"Scully?"

“You said..." she sighed, making eye contact again. "You said you loved me." It was barely a whisper. She blushed, but she kept her gaze on him.

His heart and his mind were racing now. She did actually think of it, and judging by her reaction, she might even care. She just did not want to believe it last night and it was easier to blame it on drugs.

 _Of course_ , he thought, wanting to chuckle. That was so Scully like.

"Yes. I did say that." He smiled.

"So..." she paused again searching his face, her eyes landing on his lips. They were pursed, looking so soft, so inviting...

"So?" His voice caused her to look back into his eyes.

She swallowed and her breathing quickened. "So... you actually meant it?" She asked before cleared her throat trying to calm herself.

“I meant everything I said last night, Scully. I was not drugged. I know what happened to me. I was on that ship. In 1939. And you were there." He stopped to take the cup from her hand and set it on the coffee table together with his own. He moved a strand of hair from her face, brushing his fingers lightly over her cheek, before he spoke again. "And ... I do love you." 

She shivered at his touch as she was staring at him, not moving, not talking. She didn't know how to handle this information. She wished she could just let go, to give way to her emotions and desires. They had been dancing around this for far too long and for a split second she thought maybe it was about time to move forward. But she was such a coward.

Coward to show him her deepest emotions, her vulnerability. Coward to let him in. Coward to risk their friendship.

"Why?" she asked, finally finding her voice. "Why now? Why last night? What made you say it, Mulder? What happened on that ship between us? Is that why you...?"

He leaned in and kissed her on the mouth interrupting her rapid fire of questions and her racing mind. She was shocked, frozen in place, her breath caught in her throat. Without moving, she let his lips softly slide over hers until it's softness and warmth started to relax her body and she closed her eyes, sinking into his kiss. She inhaled his scent and was instantly intoxicated. Her body went limp, the blood in her veins boiling. Her lips parted and she kissed him back as his tongue lightly grazed her lips and her teeth.

"I kissed you." Their breaths mingled as he spoke with a low raspy voice into her mouth. "On that ship. I thought I might never…” His tongue seductively traced over her upper lip. "...see you again.” Over her bottom lip, his tongue roamed, leaving the wet trace of his saliva.

"And seeing you in the hospital..." He bit at her bottom lip and a whimper escaped her throat. "...I had to tell you how I feel."

He slowly separated from her lips and took her face in his hands, his thumbs bruahing her cheeks. She opened her eyes and looked at him. He searched her face, finding her face flushed, breathy, her lips red and swollen and her eyes darken.

"Because we might not have tomorrow."

“Mulder..." she breathed, as she leaned in, pressing her lips to his. She kissed him passionately, her hot breath making his body shiver. Her tongue probed inside his mouth and she tasted coffee on his tongue.

His hands travelled from her face, over her shoulders and down her sides till they reached her waist. He pulled her closer to him so her breasts crashed into his firm chest. He pulled her shirt from her trousers and scraped his fingers over her spine, leaving fiery traces on her skin. Her hands entwined in his hair and she let out a moan into his mouth. Tingles in her lower belly made her body jerk and she felt herself getting wet, her groin pulsating.

She reached for the hem of his T-shirt and quickly pulled it up and over his head. She ran her fingers over the bare skin of his chest as her eyes followed the reddish trace where she was marking him with her finger nails and she bit her bottom lip.

He groaned at her seduction and pushed her down on the couch, laying on top of her, kissing her deeply. She could feel his growing erection pressing at her thigh through his layers of clothing. His roaming hand found a way under her shirt and up to her breast. He squeezed lightly before brushing his finger over the sensitive, pebbled nipple through the thin material of her bra. She arched her back pressing her chest to his and thrust her hips up, searching for relief. Her clit ached as she was burning with desire for him.

"God, Scully,” he breathed into her mouth before leaving a line of kisses over the outline of her face. He reached her ear and whispered. "I want you so badly".

She responded in moans, feeling her body trembling under his warm lips and hands. It was such a pleasure feeling the weight of his body pressing her down into the couch.

He lightly bit and licked at her earlobe, her neck, her collarbone. His hand worked the buttons of her shirt as she covered her face with her hands in disbelief. She was panting hard.

Were they really doing this? Jesus, she was on fire and she couldn't think straight. What the fuck was going on? When did she decide to cross the line? The moment she thought this could not be happening his mouth landed on her breast and she squirmed at the hot and moist sensation of sucking her erect nipple through the thin lace of her bra.

The phone rang at that moment, causing them to quickly jump off of the couch. They felt like school kids who had gotten caught smoking in the backyard. They both stared at the phone for a few seconds before Mulder sobered up enough to pick it up.

"Yeah, Mulder." His voice was breathy and she could only hope there was no one on the other line who could put two and two together.

“Oh Hi... Yeah, I'm fine. It's all good... Yes... No, there's no need. Thanks... No, no... Don't worry guys. I'm good... Yeah... Thank you. Ok.. bye..."

"It was the Gunmen,” he said as he turned around after hanging up the phone. He found her buttoning up her shirt in a hurry and fixing her hair. She composed herself and looked at him with a frosty expression, her eyes bright and clear as ever.

She redressed in the armor she wore; the fiery, aroused Scully from just seconds ago had disappeared and in front of him was standing the Scully he knew so well: strict and all business. He knew it was her defense mechanism, and as much as hated to see it, he understood. 

But, Christ, he wanted to see the sexy goddess who had been before him moments ago. The one who moaned and pressed her body into his. He dreamed of it for too long.

"They.. uhm... just wanted to check on me."

"That's nice." She gave him a small tight smile as she reached for her jacket that had been tossed over the armchair. She swallowed making eye contact with him again. "I think I should be going now. You need to rest and I have some... plans."

He simply nodded. She obviously thought this was a mistake and he didn't want to push her. He knew they would now act as though nothing had ever happened. Just like that almost kiss in his hallway they never mentioned. Just like anything that had to do with their emotions.

"Call if you need anything." she said as she walked out of his apartment, closing the doors behind her.

 _Cowards. Both of them_ , he thought, the silence of her departure ringing loudly in his ears.

He looked at his apartment door, wishing she would walk back through it, but knowing she was most likely nearly to her car by now, the confusion she was obviously feeling pushing her forward.

He sighed as he shook his head. He was ready, but apparently she wasn’t. Not quite yet. Nodding his head this time, he made a promise to himself.

He would wait. Accept the journey they found themselves on and wait until she was ready. She knew now, he had told her how he felt. Hell, how he _had_ felt for a long time. He knew it couldn’t be a complete surprise to her, and yet…

He would wait. Because being without her, especially now when he could still taste the sweetness of her lips and smell the delicious scent of her skin, was out of the question.


End file.
